December 9th 2007

It's been a long time since I have blogged, thought I better get on and record some thoughts. since I know longer write in my journal... I like looking back and seeing where life has taken me and in what direction. alot has been going on around this house. Our focus the past couple weeks have been on Erica. She is dealing with some anxiety issues. doesn't seem to want to go to school anymore. every day for the past 2 weeks it's been a battle to get her to go. she phycially can make her self sick from head aches, neck pain, chest pain, dizzy, throw up etc... all signs of anxiety. we have her going to talk to a tharpist about her fears. she fears being away from mom and dad, more so dad. she says there is something more wrong with her rather then just anxiety. she can't breath at times. and is afraid to go to school in fear she will stop breathing and never see us again... what a hard tormenting fear for a 10 year old to have to carry around. I here it's normal for her age to go thru anxiety issues like this. I know I did... I always would fear when mom went into the grociery store and I waiting in the car that she would never return, she would be kidnapped so I would keep a constant eye on the exit door... when she would take a while, I would then start imagining someone taking her out the back door... or someone was holding all the customers hostage inside at gun point... But mom always returned, I remember bing afraid to sleep at peoples houses... I really dont' know what I feared, I just know it was absolutely tormenting to be away from home at night time.
Well, so much has happen the past couple weeks that I am not even going to try and recall everything... it's just been very stressfull, and I have cried many tears. So, I will focus on today. Erica and Nicholas have a friend over from last night, Rick took them to see Monster Trucks. we bought Nicholas 4 tickets to bring friends, thought that would be a cool thing for him to be able to invite new kids to. But he just wanted to invite is friend Allie and said he didn't want to invite anyone else because he might accidently ignore Allie and make her feel bad. So he gave the other two tickets to Erica, so she brought a friend. they got home very late last night. but had a blast. they are waking up now, and are planning there day of slidding and possibly ice skating... Rick has made the kiddos a ice rink. I want to get out there and decorate with lights and old christmas trees, I would love for it to look like a little white wonderland. I bought Rick a portable fire pit for christmas so I hope he will get that up for a little area for the kids to warm up... I can bring out hot cider and coa coa to them... I have it all planned out... hope it turns out like I imagaine... ha ha ha... Alright, kids are up, and screaming... suppose I should make some breakfast. I will try not to let that much time go buy between blogs.
until then...